Disavowing Imposter Syndrome

It's not you. It's not me.

Imposter syndrome is one of those things that always felt half true for me. Things that feel half true are usually things that make sense to my mind (“yes Lucy, that is a nice little check box solution thank you, I’ll take it”) but for some reason don’t resonate with my deeper sense of Truth. It is an inconvenient phenomenon. It happens a lot.

In this case, this particular half truth has never bothered me. I have not had the call to dig deeper or understand why it only felt half true. Until recently. God knows why, but I have been sitting with this for the past week, and apparently now I want to write about it. In the name of following the impulse (the funnest, most joyful, way to live and work I have recently discovered), here goes.

Like many humans I am now seeing online, and encountering in daily life, I never felt like I fit. At school, socially, at uni, in workplaces. I studied and got the qualifications but despite a Bachelor degree, two Masters and a PhD (clearly avoiding growing up and getting a real job. Never really wanted one…), I never had a felt sense of Mastery. This persisted despite my career advancing and all the objective metrics stacking up to suggest that I should have in fact become, and felt like, some sort of expert. I didn’t.

Now, if you consult the guidelines, this sounds exactly like Imposter Syndrome. The definition goes something like this… “Imposter syndrome is the situation in which highly accomplished, successful individuals paradoxically believe they are frauds who ultimately will fail and be unmasked as incompetent”. (American Psychological Association, 2026). It is a psychological phenomenon associated with symptoms including self-doubt, perfectionism, over-preparation or procrastination and attributing successes to luck. Treatment includes fostering self-awareness, cognitive behavioural therapy, psychotherapy, mentorship and group therapy.

You may have noticed the italics above. If not, let me point out, that all this does in fact sound like a disorder. A syndrome. A problem. But, don’t worry, it is a treatable condition. Albeit one that we must immediately get help for, to ensure we can move on in our lives, lest, God forbid, it hinders our productivity.

Now, I see a few problems with this.

Point 1: The boxes. Thanks to 43 years of lived experience and the fact that I have never really fully accepted half truths in my being, I have come to realise (today) that in fact the way I felt throughout my study and career, really was true. AND it was no reflection of me. It was, in fact a reflection of the fact that society wanted me to feel ok defining myself and my gifts within little tidy boxes like “clinician”, “social worker”, “psychologist”, academic”, “scientist”, “qualitative researcher”, “coach” etc. etc. These were in fact all roles that I took on (most of them excellently by the way), but which also never defined WHO. I. AM. How on earth could they define me? My wholeness. My humanness. I couldn’t feel ok with that. I didn’t. I still don’t. This “problem” still persists for me today as I am quite unable to niche down in my business. Even the thought of the word niche makes me nauseous. Ukkkk. Summary: The boxes are the problem. Not you. Not me.

Point 2: Competence and complacency. Why on earth would we set the benchmark at feeling competent. At a baseline level of ensuring safety in practice, research and the work we do, sure. But isn’t anything beyond that complacency? Is that ever safe? The most accomplished clinicians and researchers, managers, entrepreneurs, business owners, CEOs, cleaners, that I have ever encountered feel there is always more to learn, to grow into and to experience. The most dangerous are those sitting in complacency. Not to mention that we are designed to grow and evolve. Not stay in the same place. Summary: The metric is the problem. Not you. Not me.

Point 3: Drive. Feeling “impostery” never stopped me. In fact I it drove me. Feeling like there was more to know, achieve, see, do and be, has driven my life forward. Not feeling like I fit the boxes has led me to seek and define my own. Although this hasn’t been smooth sailing (when is it ever), it has been the most rewarding joyful part of my inner journey so far. And the most liberating. Summary: Is there even a problem*? Not you. Not me.

Point 4: Pathologising the population. Up to 82% of us experience imposter syndrome in life (Bravata et al., 2020). Is it reasonable to pathologise the majority of the population? Summary: The pathology is the problem. Not you. Not me.

Point 5: Patriarchy. Who is setting the agenda? The one that says we should feel ok defining ourselves within pre-determined little boxes? The one that ensures we strive for competence and stay there? The one that says we should stop striving altogether to know and be more? The one that fights to ensure our productivity? The one that pathologises those who don’t conform (most of us)?. Summary: The system is the problem. Not you. Not me.

So, great news today for the 82% of us who thought we were imposters. Turns out we’re not. We were just told to fit into boxes and systems that are not a true reflection of us, our humanness, our gifts, our talents, our complexity. Ones that in fact deny our humanness and our nature to grow, evolve, seek and expand. Yay.

Now, the obvious caveat to all of this is that if the impostery feelings you are having are impinging your ability to LIVE your life, then absolutely talk to someone. Just make sure that person makes you realise that how you are feeling is in fact 82% normal. And that the problem is with the boxes, the metric, the pathology and the system. Not you. Make sure you find the person that can walk with you so that you may find the way home to yourself. To trust yourself above all else. So you can live your life. So you can be who you came here to be.

Much Love,

Lucy x