The thing about creating anything and living a life directed by our innate wisdom is that, but definition, it is filled with space jammed packed with the unknown. As humans, when faced with the unknown, our little minds (well, my little mind) gets very excited and immediately gets to work to fill the space. Linger in the open possibility; it does not. Sit in the excitement of the potentiality, the magic and the wonder, full of curiosity; no thank you. Rather my mind stands tall and proud, rolls up it’s sleeves and gets to work, doing what it does best. It immediately begins to beaver away to understand. To fill the void with imaginary plans. To create the strategy. To seek out the others who have walked a similar path of this specific type of unknown before. And who have made a success of it. My little mind becomes steadfast in it’s determination to make the unknown known, as quickly and deeply and thoroughly as possible. Until now, this has always thrown me and my nervous system into the equally safe (and soul sucking) space of having a list of things to do. Once my mind gets to work, I do to. First, research. Find the ‘others’ and dive in deep to see how it has been done successfully. Learn as much as possible, as quickly as possible (immediately disconnecting me from my own creative impulse and innate wisdom). Second, replicate. Learn how to replicate. Practice replicating. Replicate a lot, spending repetitive, safe time in productive procrastinating and, in the meantime, both denying the very thing I came here to do (to create) and sucking the life out of the spark that initiated the whole thing in the beginning. Third, wear myself out (sometimes get sick) and realise that I have completely lost my way and the spark. Fourth, lie down in a dark room (for a short while until my little one wants to play trains again) and try to recover until the next spark comes by. Rinse. Repeat. Until now.
One grand thing about the advancement of time spent on this planet is the insight afforded to us. Thank God. As I sit here today, despite having lived within this modus operandi for 43 years, the idea of being stuck in this repetitive, soul sucking loop for the rest of time is just blah. I am bored with it. I happen to believe wholeheartedly that if we live according to our innate wisdom, do the things that our soul calls us to do in flow and alignment with our joy, one inspired step at a time, and do this wholeheartedly and whole-bodily and whole-mindedly in full energetic coherence, it will in fact ‘work out’. What this means exactly, I have yet to know. Watch this space.
The good news is that today I get to choose differently. I get to step fully into the unknown without the plan, in full curiosity. Without my mind understanding. Without a clue in fact of what the steps or the impact or the outcome will be. But in full knowing in my self and body that this is the path for me. The next adventure. My New Dawn. One inspired action at a time. With my mind working in service of my innate wisdom, my instinct, my soul’s callings.
To be honest it feels like such a massive relief to my mind and my body. A massive exhalation. Although I am sure it will take some time to unravel the years of learning and be able to do this in full flow. But that is the goal. Keep me accountable will you?
So here we go. My New Dawn. This one I discovered two days ago is perfectly described by a line in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic. “I am on a mission of artistic liberation”. From today I am in full devotion to this. I step in in full coherence. So, as Gilbert writes, “Let the girl go”. And let’s see what magic unfolds.
I would love to know if you are on your own foray into your Era of Artistry too.
Much Love,
Lucy x